I Dream of Leela
by BumbleBeeTheta
Summary: The sequel to MSCBF'sW. Fry and Lizzie end their engagement so they can both pursue their loves. But will Leela be up to the challenge of a real relationship with Fry? R&R please!
1. And Lizzie Brought a Casserole...er, Sec...

I Dream of Leela by BumbleBeeTheta (based partially on several Friends episodes)  
  
Part One- And Lizzie Brought a Casserole…er, Secret  
  
"She's his yellow brick road,  
  
Leading him on and letting him go  
  
As far as she lets him go,  
  
Going down to nowhere.  
  
She puts on her make-up  
  
The same way she did yesterday,  
  
Hoping everything's the same  
  
But everything has changed.  
  
In my mind  
  
Everything we did was right  
  
Open your eyes; I'll still be by your side.  
  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
  
You give me something to sleep to at night."  
  
"Something to Sleep To" by Michelle Branch  
  
  
  
Note: This takes place right after "My So-Called Best Friend's Wedding", so if you haven't read it, I suggest doing so. Otherwise, you won't get it and I'd really rather not explain who Lizzie is. Not that I'd be doing so to many, seeing as I think around four people actually read my work, but still! Anyways, thanks for reading.  
  
Scene: The morning after in Fry's bedroom at the Saxon Mansion.  
  
(The camera focuses on the curtain blowing in the wind from the open window.)  
  
Lizzie: (OS) Well, well, well…what a pleasant surprise.  
  
(Focus on Leela and Fry who immediately bolt awake.)  
  
Lizzie: I come back expecting to marry the so-called love of my life and find him in bed with a little skank…  
  
Fry: Uh…it's not what it looks like! Leela was just…aw, hell, you're right.  
  
Leela: Lizzie, please try to understand-  
  
Lizzie: You have no right to address me so informally! You are a guest in my house and my patience has all but run out.  
  
Leela: Elisabeth, I'm so sorry you had to find us like this.  
  
Lizzie: So am I.  
  
Leela: But you can't just expect Fry not to go searching for something to cling to after you walked out on him.  
  
Lizzie: I thought relationships were based on trust.  
  
Fry: Look, Lizzie-  
  
Lizzie: No, you listen! I trusted that you'd be waiting here for me and look what I find you doing.  
  
Leela: Trust? You should talk, lady.  
  
Lizzie: I beg your pardon!  
  
Leela: You have no right to come and demand from Fry what you yourself cannot fulfill.  
  
Fry: What?  
  
Lizzie: (fake) I…I, I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
Leela: I think you do.  
  
Fry: What are you two talking about?  
  
Lizzie: Nothing, sweetheart. Now, if Leela will kindly get dressed and join me in the hall.  
  
(She steps out. Leela gets out of the bed and gathers up her clothes. She begins to get dressed, although thankfully we can't see anything.)  
  
Fry: What's going on here?  
  
Leela: Nothing. Look, Fry, last night was a mistake.  
  
Fry: Yeah, I guess.  
  
Leela: You obviously still love Lizzie, and I can't take that away from you.  
  
Fry: But…  
  
Leela: I don't want to be the one who destroys a relationship. That's your job.  
  
(By now, she's fully clothed. Fry is left sitting up in bed, very confused.)  
  
Fry: Leela, you're not letting me finis-  
  
Leela: I shouldn't be here. I'm gonna go talk to Lizzie now so the two of you can work things out. See ya.  
  
(She lets herself out. Fry stares disdainfully at the door and sighs.)  
  
Cut to Leela and Lizzie in the hall.  
  
Lizzie: How did you find out?  
  
Leela: Amy caught you and the priest…well…  
  
Lizzie: Oh god.  
  
Leela: Neither of us told Fry, so he has no knowledge of it.  
  
Lizzie: Thank goodness. I thought my marriage was off.  
  
Leela: You mean, you're still going to marry him?  
  
Lizzie: Of course.  
  
Leela: That's terrible! You don't deserve him!  
  
Lizzie: You just want me to throw away the most amazing man in the universe so he can come back to you? It's you who doesn't deserve him. You made him feel worthless. He needed me to heal the damage.  
  
Leela: I know I don't deserve him, but neither do you. And I'm not cheating on him.  
  
Lizzie: Look, Leela. I'll break things off with Warner, I promise. Don't take my fiancée away from me.  
  
Leela: I have no intention of doing so, but I do have one favor to ask.  
  
Lizzie: Anything.  
  
Leela: Tell Fry about you and Warner.  
  
Lizzie: I can't!  
  
Leela: Then I will.  
  
Lizzie: No! Please! He's all I've ever wanted. Don't ruin this for me.  
  
Leela: Why not? You did the same for me. The day after your little "outing" I was going to tell him how I felt. I've been miserable and depressed ever since. You have no right to just show up and take something so precious away from me.  
  
Lizzie: Fine. I'll tell him.  
  
Leela: And let him choose between us.  
  
Lizzie: Alright…  
  
(Leela puts out her hand.)  
  
Leela: Shake on it.  
  
(Lizzie reluctantly shakes her hand.)  
  
Leela: It's been a pleasure doing business with you.  
  
Cut to a bit later.  
  
(Leela has changed from her gown to normal clothes. She is going down the stairs when Amy stops her.)  
  
Amy: Hey Leela.  
  
Leela: Oh, hi Amy.  
  
(Amy grabs her and pulls her into the bathroom. She shuts and locks the door.)  
  
Amy: So what's up?  
  
Leela: What do you mean?  
  
Amy: Oh, come on! You know what I mean.  
  
Leela: No, I don't.  
  
Amy: (rolls eyes) Did you and Fry…you know?  
  
Leela: Amy!  
  
Amy: I'm just wondering. I mean, you didn't leave his room last night.  
  
Leela: You noticed?  
  
Amy: G'uh. As if it was well concealed.  
  
(Leela freaks out and begins stroking the bottom of her ponytail ala "Leela's Homeworld".)  
  
Leela: Oh no. What are the Saxons going to do? I'm dead meat.  
  
Amy: So you did do the forbidden dance!  
  
(Leela breaks down and sits down.)  
  
Leela: (tearfully) Yes!  
  
Amy: Shmeesh. I figured you'd wait at least a day…  
  
Leela: Amy! Oh, what am I going to do?  
  
Amy: Just forget about it. We'll be home soon and you can explain it all there.  
  
Leela: It's not that simple.  
  
Amy: You told him what was up with Lizzie and the priest, right?  
  
(Silence.)  
  
Amy: You didn't?  
  
Leela: It never came up. And you should have seen how sorry he looked when Lizzie walked in on us.  
  
Amy: Lizzie knows? Wow. I can't believe you haven't skipped town yet.  
  
Leela: I had to stay. I have to patch things up between them. And I can't let her let loose how she found us…  
  
Amy: In a very…romantic yet awkward pose?  
  
Leela: Yep.  
  
Amy: That happened to me the first time Kif stayed over at my parent's house.  
  
Leela: Ouch.  
  
Amy: Oh, it was no biggie. It's not like they haven't found me that way before.  
  
Leela: Amy, as comforting as that is, you don't need to go on.  
  
Amy: Oh sorry. So you're just gonna forget it ever happened?  
  
Leela: That's the plan.  
  
Amy: What about you and Fry?  
  
Leela: I have no idea. I guess he's just gonna choose between Lizzie and me.  
  
Amy: Wow. You don't sound too optimistic.  
  
Leela: It's not that I'm worried about how I'll act if he marries Lizzie. I'm worried about what might happen if he picks me.  
  
Amy: You mean another divorce?  
  
Leela: No…more like my parents' reaction.  
  
Amy: Don't they like Fry?  
  
Leela: Yeah, but what would they think if they come to say goodnight to me and Fry's there?  
  
Amy: Just stay at his apartment.  
  
Leela: But they'd know I was missing.  
  
Amy: Good point.  
  
Leela: It's like I can't win.  
  
Amy: Well…you could always have him do the same thing that guy from "Pearl Harbor" did in his other movie.  
  
Leela: Huh?  
  
Amy: You know, the really hot guy in "40 Days and 40 Nights".  
  
(Leela gives her a blank expression.)  
  
Amy: Spl'uh. Nobody watches classic movies anymore. It's about a guy who promises not to have sex for forty days and falls in love with this girl.  
  
Leela: Aw…  
  
Amy: Exactly.  
  
Leela: Too bad Fry'd never go for that…  
  
Amy: What makes you think he wouldn't?  
  
Leela: Amy, it's Fry.  
  
Amy: Good point.  
  
Leela: I guess I'll just have to hang on and hope for the best.  
  
Amy: (smiling) Good luck.  
  
Scene: Later downstairs.  
  
(Everyone is sitting in the living room, reclining.)  
  
Madison: So, Philip, when do you and Elisabeth plan on getting married?  
  
Fry: Well, actually…  
  
Lizzie: (rushed) Fry, I have to talk to you!  
  
(She grabs him and pulls him into the kitchen where Serena and Bender are making out.)  
  
Serena: (embarrassed) Mistress Elisabeth, I was just…making a casserole for your mother.  
  
Lizzie: Don't worry about it, Serena. You and Bender go have fun. I'll take care of it.  
  
(Serena and Bender leave the room.)  
  
Fry: So what's up?  
  
Lizzie: How much do you love me?  
  
Fry: I dunno…a lot, I guess.  
  
Lizzie: Good. I have something I have to tell you.  
  
Fry: O-kay…  
  
Lizzie: Don't be upset, but I haven't been completely honest with you.  
  
Fry: Well, neither have I.  
  
Lizzie: I…I'm having an affair.  
  
Fry: You're what?  
  
Lizzie: It's just that…well, I didn't know the priest was my ex-boyfriend and-  
  
Fry: I can't believe you!  
  
Lizzie: But you slept with Leela!  
  
Fry: Because I…well, it's not important. But how could you?  
  
Lizzie: I didn't know I still had feelings for him.  
  
Fry: Obviously.  
  
Lizzie: Here, let's just forget about what I did with Warner and what you did with Leela and get on with our lives.  
  
Fry: I don't think I can ever trust you again.  
  
Lizzie: What are you saying?  
  
Fry: Lizzie…I think we should see other people.  
  
Lizzie: So you're just gonna go back to Leela?  
  
Fry: I didn't say that.  
  
Lizzie: Well, it's me or her. You can't just abstain.  
  
Fry: Why not?  
  
Lizzie: Because both of us love you and you must love one of us back.  
  
Fry: Well…I just need some time to think, okay?  
  
Lizzie: Good idea. We'll go back to New New York and work this whole thing out.  
  
Fry: No, I think I'll go back to New New York.  
  
Lizzie: You mean this is it?  
  
Fry: I can't say for sure, but at the moment, yes.  
  
Lizzie: I understand.  
  
Fry: Thanks.  
  
(He starts to leave the room.)  
  
Lizzie: Fry?  
  
Fry: Yeah?  
  
Lizzie: Could you help me with this casserole? I've never cooked before in my life.  
  
Fry: (smiling) Sure.  
  
Cut to about fifteen minutes later.  
  
Lizzie: Thanks.  
  
Fry: No problem.  
  
(They dish up the casserole onto the plates. Fry takes two and is about to go out.)  
  
Lizzie: Fry? One more thing. Don't forget about Leela. She loves you more than you know.  
  
Scene: Dinner.  
  
(Everyone is seated at the Saxon's long table. Madison and Cale are seated at either end. Lizzie is sitting next to her father with Fry on her right. Leela is seated across from Fry next to Zoidberg. They are about to eat when Madison axes her daughter a question.)  
  
Madison: Have you and Philip set a date for your wedding yet?  
  
Lizzie: Well…  
  
Fry: Not exactly.  
  
Madison: What about the twelfth? That's the day your great, great grandmother was born. It'd be such a joy to celebrate two things on one day.  
  
Lizzie: Mom…  
  
Madison: And there would be time to get in those roses you always wanted for your wedding. You know, the pretty ones we saw on our holiday on Melicina?  
  
Lizzie: Mom…  
  
Madison: You were only six then, but I'm sure you'll remember how you told your father and I they were the most beautiful blossoms you had ever seen.  
  
Amy: Aren't those really expensive and rare and endangered?  
  
Cale: Nothing's too good for our little blossom. Isn't that right, Maddie?  
  
Madison: Oh, of course. Darling, you simply must set a date soon. I don't want your dress to go out of style. Otherwise we'd have to order a brand new one from Milan 16. And that's quite far away. Though, I daresay they could always get one of those special companies to ship it overnight, should we come into that predicamen-  
  
Lizzie: Mom! There is no wedding!  
  
(Madison gasps.)  
  
Madison: Sweetheart, there is a wedding. You're talking nonsense. Now dear, you must be tired from your trek. It's not everyday you run away. I'm sure you're just parched.  
  
Lizzie: I'm not kidding.  
  
Madison: Of course you are, darling. Why wouldn't there be?  
  
Cale: Don't tell me this is about Philip's mistake at the altar. Honey, we can't all be perfect.  
  
Lizzie: It's not that. It's just that…  
  
Madison: What, sweetie?  
  
(Lizzie works up some fake tears.)  
  
Lizzie: He cheated on me!  
  
Madison: What?!  
  
Lizzie: With Turanga!  
  
(The PE crew responds with several "Omigod!"s and other exclamations, save for Amy.)  
  
Madison: Oh dear heavens!  
  
Cale: Elisabeth, this had better not be a joke to place revenge on Turanga. You know it wasn't her fault at the altar.  
  
Lizzie: I'm not kidding. I came home this morning. I went into to his room and I saw them there, basking in the afterglow.  
  
(Madison starts to cry.)  
  
Cale: Philip, I would prefer if you left soon. Preferably by tomorrow morning.  
  
Fry: Yes, sir.  
  
Madison: I can't believe it. All I ever wanted was for my little girl to get married. And now it's all been ruined by a little slut!  
  
Cale: Well, nothing else can go wrong…  
  
(He takes a bite of his casserole and promptly spits it out.)  
  
Cale: Serena!  
  
(Serena runs in.)  
  
Serena: Yes, master?  
  
Cale: How could you poison this household with this dreadful tripe?  
  
Serena: I, I…  
  
Cale: This is absolutely unacceptable. I want you gone from this house by tomorrow as well.  
  
Serena: Y-yes, sir.  
  
Bender: Hey! You have no right to treat her that way!  
  
Cale: I advise you to turn down your volume, robot.  
  
Bender: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Serena didn't make the casserole!  
  
Cale: Who else could have?  
  
(No one says a word.)  
  
Cale: My point. And even if she didn't create this…slop. I want her gone. She's always been nothing but a nuisance. Now, I believe it's time we all retired.  
  
(Everyone leaves the table and heads to their respective rooms. Kif stops Amy on the way to the attic.)  
  
Kif: Amy, about that question I've been meaning to ask you…  
  
Amy: (expectantly) Yes?  
  
Kif: I can't wait any longer so I'm going to ask you now and I'm praying the answer's yes.  
  
Amy: Okay.  
  
(Kif and Amy speak the next two lines at the same time.)  
  
Kif: Do you think I should throw Zapp a birthday party?  
  
Amy: I do.  
  
Kif: Great! I was going to ask you a while ago, but I felt kind of embarrassed, seeing as he mistreats me any chance he gets. But I still feel compelled to so something for him.  
  
(Amy slaps her forehead.)  
  
Amy: I knew it was too good to be true.  
  
Scene: The next morning.  
  
(Everyone is getting onto the ship. Fry and Leela make absolutely no eye contact. Serena tearfully walks up to Bender.)  
  
Serena: Oh, Bender, I don't know if I can correctly perform without you.  
  
Bender: Yeah, I'll miss you too. What are you gonna do now that you're fired?  
  
Serena: I don't know. Maybe turn myself into one of the Flesh Fairs.  
  
Bender: Aw, baby, don't do that…Why doncha just come back to earth with us?  
  
Serena: Earth…yes, I think that would work.  
  
(She and Bender head toward the ship.)  
  
Bender: Hey Fry! You're gonna hafta find somewhere else to live. The apartment's full.  
  
Fry: Yeah, whatever, Bender.  
  
(Lizzie comes up to him.)  
  
Lizzie: This is it.  
  
Fry: Yeah, so long.  
  
Lizzie: I'm really sorry for all the trouble I caused.  
  
Fry: It's okay. We had some good times.  
  
Lizzie: Yeah…so I guess you'll go out with Leela, then?  
  
Fry: Honestly, I don't know. I know I love her, but she thinks what we did was a mistake.  
  
Lizzie: Aw, don't listen to her. She loves you. You'll see.  
  
(They hug.)  
  
Fry: See ya. And don't worry, you'll find that special someone.  
  
Lizzie: Bye!  
  
(He boards the ship.)  
  
Cut to Leela getting the ship started.  
  
Leela: Is everybody here?  
  
Amy: Looks like it.  
  
Leela: Okay then. All systems go!  
  
(She starts the ship up and they fly off into space.)  
  
Cut to a little later.  
  
(Amy greets Fry in the hall.)  
  
Amy: Hey Fry.  
  
Fry: Oh, hi.  
  
Amy: So what's up?  
  
Fry: Nothing new. Why do you ask?  
  
Amy: G'uh! I wanna know what's up with you and Leela.  
  
Fry: Nothing is going on.  
  
Amy: Don't try that with me. I know there's something there.  
  
Fry: All I know is I love her but she thinks what we did was a mistake…But it was an amazing mistake.  
  
Amy: (rolls her eyes) Fry.  
  
Fry: No, I mean it. She's…wow. Now I know why Zapp's always after her.  
  
Amy: Fry…  
  
Fry: Just hear me out. It was one of the best- hell, it was the best I've ever had…  
  
(Ends as Amy covers her ears as Fry describes his encounter with Leela.)  
  
Well, that's it for Part One. Part Two should be up soon. Constructive criticism is much appreciated! 


	2. Almost 40 Days and 40 Nights

"I Dream of Leela" by BumbleBeeTheta  
  
Part Two- "Almost 40 Days and 40 Nights"  
  
"Can you imagine no love, pride,  
  
Deep-fried chicken,  
  
Your best friend always stickin' up for you  
  
Even when I know you're wrong?  
  
Can you imagine no first dance,  
  
Freeze-dried romance,  
  
Five-hour phone conversation,  
  
The best soy latte that you ever had  
  
And…me?  
  
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?  
  
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day  
  
And head back to the Milky Way?  
  
Tell me, did you sail across the sun?  
  
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see  
  
The lights are faded and that heaven is over-rated?  
  
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,  
  
One without a permanent scar?  
  
And did you miss me  
  
While you were looking for yourself out there?"  
  
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train  
  
Scene: Leela's apartment.  
  
(Leela's sprawled out on her bed once again, writing in her journal.)  
  
Leela: Okay, so I'm not engaged to Fry right now, but it's not like there's nothing between us. I mean, I told him we should forget about it, but I didn't really mean it. I hope he understands that. But I have to admit, I did like what we had. I don't care what Amy says, he IS a good…well, never mind.  
  
(The doorbell rings.)  
  
Leela: I wonder who that is.  
  
(She gets up and opens the door to see Fry.)  
  
Fry: Hey, what up?  
  
Leela: Uh…Fry, it's past midnight.  
  
Fry: I know, but it's important.  
  
(He pulls out a bouquet of red roses from behind his back.)  
  
Fry: For you.  
  
Leela: Why, thank you, Fry. But what's the occasion?  
  
Fry: Do I really need an occasion to get the girl of my dreams flowers?  
  
Leela: What do you want?  
  
Fry: Bender kicked me out. I need a place to stay.  
  
Leela: You're not just using this as an excuse to score, are you?  
  
Fry: Not entirely.  
  
Leela: Ugh…why'd he kick you out?  
  
Fry: He had Serena move in. He wants to be alone.  
  
Leela: I see…So you want to crash here?  
  
Fry: Please?  
  
Leela: Well…  
  
Fry: (suave) I could keep you warm at night…  
  
(Leela gives him a weird look.)  
  
Fry: Oh, come on, Leela. You can't just forget about it.  
  
Leela: Forget about what?  
  
Fry: That we…you know…  
  
Leela: Fry, why does it matter to you?  
  
Fry: You might not realize it, but that was the best night of my life. I mean, it was the best I ever had.  
  
Leela: (touched) Really?  
  
Fry: Yes, really. And I realize now that it's so much better when you love the person you're with.  
  
Leela: Fry, that's so sweet. I'd hardly expect you to say something like that.  
  
Fry: Well, I'm good for something, aren't I?  
  
(They smile at each other.)  
  
Leela: You can stay.  
  
Fry: Yes! (hugging her) Thank you so much!  
  
Leela: You're welcome.  
  
Fry: So… which side of the bed do I get?  
  
Leela: Neither. You get the couch.  
  
Fry: What?  
  
Leela: There's no way I'm letting you sleep in the same bed as me.  
  
Fry: Don't tell me it didn't mean anything to you.  
  
Leela: I didn't say that. I just…forget it.  
  
Fry: You can tell me. Come on.  
  
Leela: I feel exactly the same way about it as you do.  
  
Fry: So does that mean you're up for some-  
  
Leela: No. I mean, not here. And not now.  
  
Fry: Why not?  
  
Leela: Because we're not even going out, Fry.  
  
Fry: So? It'll just be our little secret.  
  
Leela: I can't do that. I have to be in a real relationship before I do that…again.  
  
Fry: I understand.  
  
Leela: Thank you. So how long do you think you'll be staying?  
  
Fry: I dunno. Til I can get back on my feet.  
  
Leela: M'kay. Let me give you the tour.  
  
Fry: You're forgetting I've already been here.  
  
Leela: You only saw the bedroom.  
  
Fry: (suave) That's all I need to see…  
  
Leela: Cut it, Fry!  
  
Fry: Yes, captain.  
  
Leela: (leading him through) Here's the bathroom, the kitchen, the…uh, bedroom.  
  
Fry: Can I ask you a question?  
  
Leela: Go ahead.  
  
Fry: How long before I can sleep in the bed?  
  
Leela: After we go out.  
  
Fry: How many times?  
  
Leela: A lot.  
  
Fry: Oh. I didn't know we were going out.  
  
Leela: We're not.  
  
Fry: So, in other words, the more time I spend before I ask you out the longer I have to wait for some lovin'?  
  
Leela: That would be the concept.  
  
Fry: Okay…do you wanna go out?  
  
Leela: No.  
  
Fry: Hey!  
  
Leela: What?  
  
Fry: I thought you wanted to go out.  
  
Leela: I do. But you want to for the wrong reasons.  
  
Fry: Okay…Leela, I love you. Will you go out with me?  
  
Leela: Why should I?  
  
Fry: Because…you like me?  
  
Leela: Try again.  
  
(Fry looks thoughtful for a minute. He gets an idea.)  
  
Fry: (singing) So then I took my turn. Oh, what a thing to have done. And it was all yellow…  
  
(Leela shakes her head and smiles.)  
  
Fry: (singing) Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful? D'you know? You know, I love you so. You know, I love you so.  
  
Leela: I guess I have to say yes to that, huh?  
  
Fry: Well, that would be the concept.  
  
Leela: I accept.  
  
Fry: So we're really going out now?  
  
Leela: Yep.  
  
Fry: (suave) How 'bout something to celebrate that with?  
  
Leela: Good idea.  
  
Fry: Really?  
  
Leela: Of course. Like a kiss goodnight?  
  
Fry: Okay.  
  
(He and Leela lean in and kiss a REAL KISS, not anything like the one Leela had with Adlai in "Cyber House Rules".)  
  
Leela: G'night.  
  
Fry: Night.  
  
(She goes into her room and smiles at him before closing the door. Once inside, she melts, grinning from ear to ear. As she gets into bed and turns off the light, "Everything U R" by Lindsay Pagano plays.)  
  
Scene: Outside PE the next morning.  
  
(Leela and Fry are standing outside, about to make their big entrance.)  
  
Leela: Okay. We can do this.  
  
Fry: We'll just go in and tell them we're going out. No biggie.  
  
Leela: Ready?  
  
Fry: As I'll ever be.  
  
(He squeezes her hand. They each take a deep breath and walk in.)  
  
Amy: Hey Leela. Hey Fry.  
  
Leela: Hi Amy.  
  
Fry: What up?  
  
(Hermes and Bender are arguing nearby.)  
  
Hermes: I keep tellin' ya, mon, ya don't need an assistant cook!  
  
Bender: Of course I do! Have you tasted my food lately?  
  
Fry: I'm gonna go help out Bender.  
  
(He walks over to them.)  
  
Amy: So…you came in together…does that mean you-  
  
Leela: No!  
  
Amy: Are you sure?  
  
Leela: Yes! Bender kicked him out so he's staying at my place.  
  
Amy: Which side of the bed does he have?  
  
Leela: Neither. He's sleeping on the couch.  
  
Amy: You mean you're waiting? I'm impressed.  
  
Leela: Could we just change the subject?  
  
(Cut to the argument.)  
  
Fry: He could use some help in the kitchen…  
  
Hermes: No!  
  
Bender: Or she could be a maid.  
  
Hermes: Planet Express doesn't need to pay another mindless employee.  
  
Serena: (interjecting) Actually, I could work for free, sir.  
  
Hermes: Really? What kind of jobs would you be doing?  
  
Serena: Well, cleaning, serving, calculating…basic chores.  
  
Hermes: Hmm… (extending his hand) welcome aboard!  
  
Scene: Later in the main conference room.  
  
Hermes: You'll all remember Serena from the Saxon's on Saturn. She is now Planet Express' maid, so I encourage ya to be total pigs, as she's not getting paid. On to de second order of business, unless ya weren't listening at dinner two nights ago, Fry and Leela…well…  
  
Leela: Why does everyone care so much about that?  
  
Zoidberg: Well, isn't it a big thing when two close friends of mine mate for one night only?  
  
Cubert: (annoyed) A child of my age should not be present for this discussion.  
  
Bender: Does anyone care what you think?  
  
Cubert: But, as a hormonal young boy, I'd prefer to stay.  
  
Scruffy: Scruffy thinks 'taint just a one-night stand.  
  
Professor: I don't pay you to think! Go take the garbage out or something!  
  
(Scruffy leaves.)  
  
Fry: Scruffy's right. It's not just a one-night stand.  
  
(Gasps. Leela smacks her head in disgust.)  
  
Serena: Exactly. It's quite obvious the two have mutual feelings for each other.  
  
Fry: Yeah. All I wanted was another chance at Leela, and now I have it. Everyone…  
  
(Everyone gazes expectantly at him.)  
  
Fry: We're going out.  
  
Amy: I knew it!  
  
Hermes: How did you know dis Amy?  
  
Amy: Well, because he spent the night at her place last night.  
  
Hermes: Is dis true, Leela?  
  
Leela: Well…  
  
Fry: Every word of it.  
  
Leela: It's not what you think!  
  
Bender: Yeah, right.  
  
Leela: We have a strict, no-sex rule.  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Fry: What?  
  
Leela: That's right. No sex for at least forty days.  
  
Fry: You just killed me.  
  
Hermes: Wow. Dat's a mighty tall order for him to follow through on…  
  
Amy: That's so sweet, Leela.  
  
Fry: Hold it. I didn't agree to that.  
  
Leela: I told you last night we wouldn't sleep together until we'd been out a lot.  
  
Fry: Yeah, but to me, a lot is three times.  
  
Leela: Too bad.  
  
Fry: Aw man…  
  
Bender: No offense, Leela, but what kind of stupid order is that?  
  
Leela: It's not stupid. This way we have real feelings for each other.  
  
Bender: Sorry, buddy.  
  
Fry: This is so unfair.  
  
Hermes: Well, I think it's a perfect idea that just might work. In fact, I'm going to hold you accountable to your goal.  
  
Fry: What?!  
  
Hermes: That's right.  
  
Fry: How?  
  
Hermes: By requiring proof of your activities and a thorough going-over of Leela's apartment each day.  
  
Leela: That sounds fair.  
  
Fry: No, it doesn't!  
  
Amy: Fry, whether you like it or not, Leela's gonna hold you to it.  
  
Fry: Ugh. I guess I have no choice. I agree.  
  
Hermes: Perfect. Now, we eagerly await gossip tomorrow from Amy and Leela about their dates.  
  
Professor: Won't we just be hearing duplicate stories?  
  
Bender: Naw. Fry's gonna be a cold turkey and Kif's gonna get lucky.  
  
Fry: Don't remind me.  
  
Scene: Later at Leela's apartment.  
  
(Fry is watching TV while sitting on the couch. He's wearing nice clothes for once.)  
  
Linda: (On TV) So today kitties Josie, Melody and Valerie learned a little lesson about D. U. I. Anything to add, Morbo?  
  
Morbo: Morbo finds referring to a little girl group as kittens makes them seem even punier than normal earthlings.  
  
(Linda laughs.)  
  
Leela: (OS) Fry!  
  
Fry: Yeah?  
  
Leela: Uh…what should I wear?  
  
Fry: Well…  
  
Cut to Fry's mind.  
  
(Leela's decked out from head to toe in leather as Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" plays, including a tube top, short (And I mean short!) skirt, long trench coat and knee high boots.)  
  
Cut back to real life.  
  
(Fry's drooling over what he's just imagined. After a few seconds, he regains his composure.)  
  
Fry: Uh…something nice.  
  
Leela: (OS) Okay…  
  
(A few moments later she comes out wearing the same dress from "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" with the slits up the sides.)  
  
Leela: What do you think?  
  
Fry: Wow. You look…really great.  
  
Leela: Thanks.  
  
Fry: (offering his arm) Shall we?  
  
Leela: (Taking it) Lead the way.  
  
(As he looks into her eye and smiles, Blink 182's "First Date" plays. What follows are various shots of them getting in and out of the taxi, holding hands, eating dinner, you know the drill. And of course, a very sweet kiss. Aw…)  
  
Scene: The next day at PE.  
  
(Scene: Main conference room. Everyone is there, minus Amy.)  
  
Hermes: Seein' as Amy's mysteriously missin', we'll skip right to Leela about what went wrong on her date last night. Leela?  
  
Leela: Actually, it wasn't half-bad. He was really sweet and nervous, but it was perfect in an awkward, uncomfortable sort of way. And he didn't even spew crumbs at me.  
  
(A bunch of "Aw"s.)  
  
Bender: Yuck.  
  
Hermes: So, will dis be a real relationship?  
  
Leela: Definitely.  
  
Fry: Yup.  
  
(More "Aw"s. Amy comes running in, zipping up her top as she enters.)  
  
Amy: So, what'd I miss?  
  
(Another montage of them on various dates, using the latter part of "First Date" because the first part doesn't fit. ( They go dancing, have dinner, see movies, etc. There's also a couple obvious points where Fry makes a pass at her and is shot down, each time he gets a little less pressing and she seems a little weaker in saying no…)  
  
Scene: Leela (and now Fry's apartment)…the 39th day.  
  
(They are in the kitchen, drinking coffee.)  
  
Fry: It's amazing Hermes gave us the day off.  
  
Leela: Yeah, well, we've 'been good' for the past 38 days. Two days off was just his way of congratulating us.  
  
Fry: Hm…so what do you feel like doing today?  
  
Leela: Why don't we go apartment shopping?  
  
Fry: Um…okay. What about tonight?  
  
Leela: I figured we could rent "The Next Best Thing". Y'know, kind of a night in.  
  
Fry: That sounds good. It'll be laid-back, relaxed…  
  
Leela: Yeah…no big thing…  
  
Fry: Wanna go apartment shopping right now?  
  
Leela: (jumping up) I thought you'd never ask.  
  
(Fry grabs the newspaper as Leela gets her coat. They run out, obviously not wanting to continue about their "night in".)  
  
Scene: Later.  
  
(Leela and Fry are sitting on the couch, looking wasted.)  
  
Fry: Sheesh. Who woulda thought it would be so hard to find an apartment in New New York? I mean, if all my years of watching Joey's antics taught me anything, it's that there is always some great apartment out there that you can afford on starving actor salary.  
  
Leela: Thank god they cancelled that show three years ago. I was beginning to think it'd never end.  
  
Fry: So what should we do about dinner?  
  
Leela: Well, I've got some Garden- (sees Fry's disgusted look) I think I'll go down to 7^11. I need to pick up some stuff.  
  
(She gets up.)  
  
Fry: K. See ya.  
  
Leela: (expectantly) Aren't you going to do something?  
  
Fry: Oh yeah. Can you pick up some Slurm?  
  
Leela: (sigh) Yeah.  
  
(She opens the door.)  
  
Fry: Thanks. Love ya.  
  
(The door closes.)  
  
Cut to Leela in the hall.  
  
Leela: Did he just say…?  
  
Scene: Later.  
  
(Leela comes in carrying a shopping bag. She tries to sneak into the bedroom, but Fry catches her.)  
  
Fry: Whatcha got there?  
  
Leela: Um…nothing. Y'know, just stuff for…tomorrow night.  
  
Fry: What happens tomorrow night?  
  
Leela: Nothing, that's what. Nothing is happening tomorrow night. That's why I bought nothing.  
  
Fry: Uh…okay.  
  
(She runs into her bedroom and sticks a box of "something" into her drawer. She then goes into the kitchen, where she puts a six-pack of Slurm in the fridge and some popcorn in the microwave.)  
  
Leela: Hey, Fry! What do you want for dinner?  
  
Fry: (OS) Um…do we have any more Instant Amoeba?  
  
Leela: Lemme check…(opens freezer) Yeah. I'll make that.  
  
(She pulls two boxes out of the freezer, both bearing the slogan "Protozoa Free!", and presses a 'self-cook' button on the side. Water drips off it as the ice melts. A ding shows it to be done. She opens the first box and shakes a jello-ish Amoeba onto a plate and then does the same with the other box. She grabs some forks and the popcorn, and balancing the plates on either wrist, heads into the living room.)  
  
Fry: (taking an Amoeba) Thanks.  
  
(Leela sets the other and the popcorn down on the couch and pops the disc into the built-in player. She then sits down on the couch.)  
  
Fry: This isn't that one movie with Madonna, is it?  
  
Leela: No. In 2637, they banned it from the galaxy due to bad acting along with every other movie featuring singers trying to act.  
  
Fry: What about "Crossroads"? You know, the Britney Spears movie?  
  
Leela: I said singers.  
  
Cut to a couple hours later.  
  
(Leela and Fry are cuddling. At least, they were. Fry's trying to get out of her grasp as she's bawling.)  
  
Fry: Are you okay?  
  
Leela: (sobbing) Fine.  
  
Fry: I'm gonna get a Slurm.  
  
(He gets up and heads into the kitchen. As soon as he leaves the room, Leela runs into her bedroom. A few moments later, she comes back out wearing a kimono.)  
  
Fry: That's…kinda fancy.  
  
Leela: You think so?  
  
Fry: Yeah…are you sure you shouldn't be saving that for a special occasion?  
  
Leela: Good point. You think I should take it off?  
  
Fry: Um…well, that way you don't spill tea or anything on it.  
  
Leela: Whatever you say.  
  
(She starts untying it in front.)  
  
Fry: I didn't mean take it off in front of-  
  
(It falls to the floor, revealing her in the same nightie as in "Parasites Lost".)  
  
Fry: Me. Wow.  
  
Leela: Like what you see?  
  
Fry: Yeah, but I thought we were waiting another day.  
  
Leela: I decided it wasn't necessary.  
  
Fry: Um…but I would've done something special if I had known we were…  
  
Leela: Well, we don't have to…  
  
Fry: No! No, it's fine. I don't mind.  
  
Leela: Okay then.  
  
(She wraps her arms around him. He does the same. They kiss. And not just regular kissing, oh no. Full-frontal snogging. This continues for a few moments.)  
  
Fry: That's enough of that. Onto the main course.  
  
Leela: No, wait.  
  
Fry: What?  
  
Leela: I need to hear three small words from you.  
  
Fry: Um…I love you?  
  
Leela: Exactly.  
  
Fry: Then let's go.  
  
("Can't Get Enough of You, Baby" by Smashmouth begins to play. He picks her up and takes her into the bedroom where both furiously begin removing each other's clothes before the scene ends. Sorry, all those with sicker minds than I (.)  
  
Cut to a while later.  
  
(Both are sound asleep with their arms around each other. Aw…it looks like a perfect picture except for one small detail. The airshaft opens and an arm comes out. It reaches up above the bed and blindly grabs for the covers, but misses and hits Fry. He immediately wakes up and tumbles out in shock.)  
  
Fry: (rubbing his head) What the…  
  
Voice: Fry?  
  
(Fry realizes who this is and freaks out.)  
  
Fry: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  
  
Leela: (waking up) Fry? What is it?  
  
(She looks over at him, huddled with his knees to his chest, covered in the comforter.)  
  
Fry: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  
  
Leela: Who are you apologizing t- (realizing, embarrassed) Dad!  
  
  
  
Morris: I suppose there's no need for me to ask you what he's doing here.  
  
Fry: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  
  
Leela: Him? Uh…no reason.  
  
Fry: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  
  
Morris: No reason, eh? Why's he apologizing then?  
  
Leela: Dad, I-  
  
Morris: Turanga, I'm very disappointed in you. I thought you learned your lesson after Sean and that captain…  
  
Leela: Dad, I'm capable of making my decisions. I'm not a child.  
  
Fry: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  
  
Morris: You had better be! If anything happens to my daughter, you can bet I'll-  
  
Leela: It's not his fault.  
  
Morris: What?  
  
Fry: What?  
  
Leela: I…I initiated it.  
  
Morris: You did? Well, now I'm even more disappointed. Now, young lady, go get some decent clothes on.  
  
(Off-screen, she gets up, grabs her nightgown out of the dresser and leaves the room. Fry looks at her, looks down in shame…and looks back up. Once she is gone, Morris begins speaking again.)  
  
Morris: Philip, would you care to explain what happened in detail?  
  
Fry: Well…as soon as we started going out, Leela made this rule that we wouldn't have sex for forty days. That way we'd really love each other and it would be special.  
  
Morris: Okay.  
  
Fry: And I went along with it, even though after what happened on Saturn I wanted to go at it again.  
  
Morris: What exactly happened on Saturn?  
  
Fry: Leela came and told me she loved me and we…well, did the forbidden dance.  
  
Morris: While you were still engaged to Elisabeth?  
  
Fry: Yes…I mean, no. I mean, I don't know. She ran off after I said Leela's name at the altar.  
  
Morris: I see.  
  
Fry: Oh, and I'm sorry for that too. For having sex, not saying her name. Uh…what time is it?  
  
Morris: 2 am.  
  
Fry: Okay. Anyway, last night was the thirty-ninth night. And we decided to stay in and watch a movie. So we did that and after it, I got up to get a Slurm. When Leela came into the kitchen, she was wearing a really expensive kimono thing. I told her she should probably change in case she spilled tea on it and then she took it off. And she was wearing this see- through nightie. I asked her why we shouldn't wait, but she said we didn't need to. So, being a guy, I went ahead and did what felt good. And the rest is history.  
  
Morris: Hm.  
  
(Leela comes in wearing her nightgown and kisses her father on the cheek.)  
  
Leela: G'night, Daddy.  
  
(She bends down and passionately kisses Fry. When they break, she gazes into his eyes.)  
  
Leela: Night.  
  
(She crawls into her bed and pulls the covers over her head. Fry and Morris wait a moment to ensure that she's asleep, which she isn't.)  
  
Fry: I'll understand if you never want me to see your daughter again, but that won't stop me from doing it. I love her.  
  
Morris: Do you really?  
  
Fry: Yes. I do. She's the only girl I've ever loved. I thought I loved Michelle, Elisabeth and Umbriel, but they were all my way of convincing myself I would never be in a relationship with her. And now I am and every moment is perfect. And I just want to stay this way…forever.  
  
Morris: What are you saying?  
  
Fry: I want to marry her.  
  
(Camera shows Leela as she pulls the covers closer around her and tears begin to form in her eye.)  
  
Dun dun da! ( Heehee. That's my VERY soapy ending. Hope you liked the chapter. I realize there was a lot of music, but I think it gives it a nice touch, doncha think? Anyway, there's one more part planned, so get ready for that and my "Three's Company" parody soon to come. 


	3. Fortune Cookie Future

"I Dream of Leela" by BumbleBeeTheta  
Part Three- "Fortune Cookie Future"  
  
"And my girlfriend likes U.L. and D.H.C.  
And she's so smart and independent; I don't think she needs me  
Quite half as much as I know I need her.  
I wonder why there's not another guy that she'd prefer…  
  
Yeah, my girlfriend takes collect calls from the road  
And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm lacking in the bulge.  
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one else does.  
She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero's just because.  
  
And when I feel like giving up,  
Like my world is falling down,  
I show up at 3am  
She's still up watching 'Vacation' and I  
See her pretty face  
It takes me away to a better place and  
I know that everything,  
Everything's gonna be fine."  
- "Josie" by Blink 182  
  
Scene: Next morning in the kitchen.  
  
(Leela, wearing a robe over her nightgown, groggily walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eye.)  
  
Fry: Morning.  
  
(She looks up and sees him sitting at the table, drinking coffee. She smiles and sits down.)  
  
Leela: G'morning. I'm surprised my father didn't kick you out.  
  
Fry: Well, once I reasoned with him, he let me off with a stern warning that if you get pregnant or contract HIV I'll never see the sun rise again.  
  
Leela: Have you ever seen it rise?  
  
Fry: No. But he doesn't know that.  
  
Leela: You should. It's so beautiful. Probably the prettiest thing in the universe.  
  
Fry: Even prettier than you?  
  
Leela: Remember what I said when you said the view in my apartment was perfect?  
  
Fry: Yeah. You said it was the corniest thing you'd ever heard.  
  
Leela: Well, I'm making your comment just now take its place.  
  
Fry: But girls like corny things, don't they?  
  
Leela: Why else would I be going out with you?  
  
Fry: I see your point. But is that why you love me?  
  
Leela: (smiling) Don't push it.  
  
Fry: So what do you want to do tonight?  
  
Leela: I dunno. But let's not relive last night. I don't think I want to get yelled at again.  
  
Fry: Yeah. Plus, if your dad found us like that again, he'd probably throw me in the lake of toxic waste.  
  
Leela: (chuckling) It seems so weird to have someone always on my case like that.  
  
Fry: That's what having parents is all about: getting nagged about everything.  
  
Leela: Don't you ever miss your parents?  
  
Fry: Sure. I miss them a lot, but I try not to let it get to me. I've accomplished more here than I ever could in the Twentieth century so I just try to remind myself that they'd be proud of me.  
  
Leela: I'm sure they would.   
  
Fry: I just wish they had said so a bit more when I was younger. I mean, I know they were, they just didn't show it. I never really felt as loved as a kid should back then. That's why I was so hasty to move in with Michelle. I thought maybe then someone would love me, but I was wrong.  
  
Leela: I'm sorry. You know, you'll always have me.  
  
Fry: Do you promise that?  
  
Leela: What do you mean?  
  
Fry: Nothing. Forget I mentioned it. Let's just focus on having a good time today.  
  
Leela: Good idea. I think I'll take a shower. (seeing the look on Fry's face) Alone.  
  
Scene: Central Park Lake.  
  
(Leela and Fry are feeding the ducks and swans bread.)  
  
Leela: (to a duck in front) Hold on there. You'll get a piece too.  
  
Fry: There sure are a lot of them.  
  
Leela: Yeah. They're always fighting for something to eat. It's like they can never be full.  
  
Fry: That sounds like me and Yancy. We both wanted attention from my parents and we'd always fight about it. My parents never did anything about it though. Dad was perfecting the bomb shelter and my mom had no time for anything since she was always caught up in her baseball and football and golf.  
  
Leela: How did you ever manage to make it?  
  
Fry: I dunno. Just pure luck I guess.  
  
Leela: I never got any attention when I was a kid either. I didn't think anyone cared about me…until I met you.  
  
(She takes his hand. They lean in for a kiss. Aw…)  
  
Fry: (excited) Whadya say we just do it in the grass?  
  
Leela: (rolls her eye) No sex.  
  
Fry: Aw, are you still sticking to that after last night?  
  
Leela: You better believe it. I just found my parents. I don't want to alienate myself from them again.  
  
Fry: I understand. But what if I paid thousands to stay in this great big hotel?   
  
Leela: Nope.  
  
Fry: Okay. What if I…bought you a brand new apartment in the perfect neighborhood with marble tabletops and bathroom?  
  
Leela: Still no.  
  
Fry: Sheesh. You're like the safe from "I Dream of Jeannie" yesterday.  
  
Leela: The one where the moon safe could only be opened by the president and Jeannie was stuck inside?  
  
Fry: Yeah, that one. Hey, wait a sec…you're not having an affair with President Nixon, are you?  
  
Leela: Fortunately not. I'm huggable and kissable, but not seducible.  
  
Fry: Too bad.  
  
Cut to a while later.  
  
(Leela and Fry are both lying out on the grass, cloud-gazing.)  
  
Fry: That one looks like…a person.  
  
Leela: And that one looks like a cat.  
  
Fry: And there's one that looks like a guy begging his girlfriend for another amazing night.  
  
(Leela gives him a 'look'.)  
  
Fry: Sorry. But you have to believe me. It is the best I've ever had.  
  
Leela: Even better than Amy?  
  
Fry: Much better. Amy doesn't come close.  
  
Leela: What about Michelle?  
  
Fry: Nope. Still better.  
  
Leela: How 'bout Morgan?  
  
Fry: That lasted, like, a minute.  
  
Leela: I know. But am I better?  
  
Fry: Way better.  
  
Leela: Hm…what about Mildred?  
  
Fry: Ew! Don't even bring that up. That's the most disgusting thing in the world. It's…it's…  
  
Leela: Incest?  
  
Fry: Yeah. Whatever that means.  
  
(Leela rolls her eye.)  
  
Fry: What do you say we go window-shopping?  
  
Leela: But then I'll be tempted to buy something.  
  
Fry: So? It's a special day.  
  
Leela: Not anymore.  
  
Fry: (suave) It could be…  
  
Leela: Don't ask again.  
  
Fry: But it's fun watching you squirm.  
  
Leela: Not as fun as watching you squirm. I think I will take you up on that shopping trip. And I think the first place I'll go is…  
  
Cut to outside a store.  
  
(The camera zooms in on Fry's face)  
  
Fry: (disbelieving) Fredrick's of New New York?  
  
(Camera zooms out to reveal a bright pink store filled to the brim with lacy lingerie.)  
  
Fry: You can't be serious.  
  
Leela: I am. And I'm going to try on everything in here in front of you.  
  
Fry: Can't I just go to the food court for the next five hours?  
  
Leela: Nope. I need you to tell me what looks best.  
  
Fry: This is torture! You're just gonna trot out in front of me wearing almost nothing and I'll never be able to lay a hand on you again!  
  
Leela: Well…you might be able to some time.  
  
Fry: Really?  
  
Leela: Yes, but at the moment, I see a bright red corset with my name on it.  
  
(She drags him in.)  
  
Scene: Back at the apartment.  
  
(Leela and Fry come in the door. Leela's carrying two huge bags from Frederick's of New New York. Fry's got a plastic bag filled to the brim with Chinese food from Ming Na's House of Chow and High-Budget Animated Films.)  
  
Leela: (teasing) I think I'll go put these incredibly revealing pieces of lingerie away in my bedroom.  
  
Fry: Great. Why don't you put one on while you're at it?  
  
Leela: I think I will.  
  
(She winks, rather blinks, at him before walking into her room. Fry goes into the kitchen and begins setting out the Chinese food. A moment later Leela strolls in, wearing a magenta corset.)  
  
Fry: What a nice outfit.  
  
Leela: Thanks. I thought you'd like it.  
  
Fry: Chow mein?  
  
Leela: Sure.  
  
(He passes the box to her and intentionally spills it all over her.)  
  
Fry: Oops. How clumsy of me. Now let's get you out of those filthy clothes.  
  
Leela: Uh, I think I can handle it.  
  
(She goes into her room and emerges a while later in her normal attire.)  
  
Fry: Want some Brain slug-fried rice?  
  
Leela: In a minute. I think I'll have a fortune cookie first.  
  
(She grabs a cookie out of a small paper bag and breaks it in half. She pulls the fortune out and reads it to herself.)  
  
Leela: (quietly) You will be asked a life-altering question.  
  
Fry: So, did you get a good one?  
  
Leela: Oh, you know, just the same old stuff you always get.  
  
Fry: Yeah. Same here.  
  
(He shows her his fortune, which reads, "Ed McMann says you may already be a winner.")  
  
Fry: Lemme see what the last one says.  
  
(He picks it out and tries to crack it, but struggles with it.)  
  
Leela: Here. (Places it in front of her and does a karate chop) Hi-ya! (grabs it) Here you go.  
  
Fry: Thanks. (Reading) You reunite with a long-lost relative…Hm. Maybe it means the Professor. It must be months since we last saw him.  
  
Leela: We were just at work Thursday.  
  
Fry: Man, time does fly.  
  
Leela: I have to admit, it's gonna be sad going back to work tomorrow.  
  
Fry: (suave) We could be late.  
  
Leela: No, I want to be on time for my first day back at work.  
  
Fry: (still suave) I guess that means we should go to bed early.  
  
Leela: Good idea. I think I'll go to bed right now.  
  
Fry: I'll go with you.  
  
Leela: No, I need my privacy. You know, journal-writing. Well, g'night.  
  
(She slams her bedroom door.)  
  
Scene: Planet Express.  
  
(Everyone is in the lounge with Leela and Amy sitting at the table.)  
  
Amy: So, Leela…how was the um-hm?  
  
Leela: Amy!  
  
Amy: I'm just asking. Did anything…out of the ordinary happen?  
  
Leela: Well…Fry fell out of the bed twice.  
  
Fry: (interjecting) It was three times!  
  
Leela: And my dad kind of showed up after we…well, you know.  
  
Amy: Ouch. How'd he take it?  
  
Leela: Not well. He all but threw Fry out the window.  
  
Amy: Well, at least he's still in one piece.  
  
Leela: Yeah.  
  
Amy: (whispering) So what are you gonna get him for his birthday?  
  
Leela: I don't know. I've been thinking about it for a while, but I'm not sure.  
  
Amy: Well, I guess it'll come to you eventually.  
  
Leela: (dryly) Thanks for the reassurance.  
  
Amy: (smiling) No problem.  
  
Professor: Good news everyone!  
  
Bender: (outraged) That's it! I'm not deliverin' anything til you get interactive TV! Serena, let's go.  
  
(He stands up.)  
  
Professor: A delivery? Oh, my, no. I'm announcing my latest invention.  
  
Bender: (sitting down) Well, in that case.  
  
Professor: I've created the Time Object Displacement Device!  
  
Fry: Wow! Are you gonna send rubber pigs back in time and get Wernstrom when he's trying to take photos of Bigfoot?  
  
Leela: What?!  
  
Amy: Fry, that's only in Jhonen Vasquez cartoons. It's like fl'uh.  
  
Professor: Amy's right, Fry. They're actually rubber moose.  
  
Fry: Oh. Is Bender gonna be your insane robot sidekick?  
  
Bender: I'll be nobody's side kick! Bender's the star! Me, Bender!  
  
(Camera pans back to the Professor. Bender jumps up and waves his arms.)  
  
Bender: Hey, get back here, you no-good-  
  
Cut to the Professor's lab.  
  
(Everyone is standing around what looks like a big swirling purple void with lots of electrical wires sticking out. The Professor is manning a switchboard nearby.)  
  
Professor: Now, I'll set the Time Object Displacement Device to January 3rd, 2002. (Pressing buttons) Amy, throw one of those stuffed moose into the vortex.  
  
Amy: Okay.  
  
(She pulls a moose out of a cardboard box marked "GIR's". She then throws it into the TODD.)  
  
Cut to a New York street.  
  
(A chocolate lab runs out into the middle of the street to catch a stick.)  
  
Familiar Voice: Buddy, no!  
  
(Just as a car is about to hit the dog, he is zapped and replaced by the moose. A teenage girl gets out of the car.)  
  
Girl: Oh no! I killed it!  
  
(Former President Clinton strolls up to the girl.)  
  
Clinton: Well, hey there, Hot Cakes. (Tribbiani-esque) How you doin'?  
  
Girl: Sir, I just killed your dog.  
  
Clinton: What?  
  
Girl: He's dead.  
  
Clinton: No!! (pause) But you're okay, right?  
  
Cut back to PE.  
  
(The dog jumps through the vortex and into the Professor's lab.)  
  
Amy and Leela: Aw!  
  
(Fry bends down to pet the dog.)  
  
Fry: So you can transport people and animals from one time period to another?  
  
Professor: Of course. Though it's only temporary and the bugs haven't been all worked out yet.  
  
Hermes: But where exactly did dis…thing come from?  
  
Professor: New York, doi! It's shown on this video screen.  
  
(He motions to a large screen above the switch board. On the screen, the girl cries over Buddy while Clinton has his arm around her shoulder. In the bushes, a particular cat wearing a collar that says 'Socks' laughs to himself.)  
  
Scene: Leela and Fry's apartment.  
  
(Fry and Leela are lying in their bed. He's talking to her, but she's just staring at the ceiling.)  
  
Fry: That sure is neat, huh? I mean, you could bring back Lincoln and all those other people from my time. And I'd finally be able to prove to you who made the cotton gin.  
  
Leela: It was Eli Whitney.  
  
Fry: I think David Duchovny would have to disagree with you. I mean, who else but him could invent it? Whoever did make it obviously had some mental problems. And he was always around aliens and Bigfoot and stuff. He had to be a little disturbed. (Pause) Are you even listening?  
  
Leela: What? Sorry, I was just thinking.  
  
Fry: About what?  
  
Leela: Oh, y'know, stuff. Like those fortune cookies from last night.  
  
Fry: Oh yeah! Mine was right. I got a letter from Ed McMann today. But I was too freaked out to open it. And then I spilled Slurm on it, so I had to. I won a free package of adhesive medical strips.  
  
Leela: Hm.  
  
Fry: Something you wanna say?  
  
Leela: Well…kind of.  
  
Fry: Go ahead.  
  
Leela: It's just that…I mean…er…well, where do you see us going?  
  
Fry: What do you mean?  
  
Leela: Like do you see us staying this way for very long or breaking up or getting…well…  
  
Fry: (Gulps) I hadn't thought about it…  
  
Leela: I didn't think so.  
  
(She grabs the comforter and lays on her side with her back to him, obviously disappointed.)  
  
Fry: But I can tell you this much, (he wraps his arms around her) I will never, ever hurt or leave you. I promise.  
  
(Leela smiles a little.)  
  
Leela: Do you mean that?  
  
Fry: (smiling) I do.  
  
(They kiss, which leads to full-frontal snogging which then leads to stuff I'm not gonna go into here…)  
  
Scene: The next day at Robot Arms Apartments.  
  
(Fry's over at Bender's, kicking back on the couch.)  
  
Fry: And all I had to do was tell her that I wouldn't leave her and she was practically throwing herself at me-  
  
Bender: Look, it's great that you have all this great stuff with Leela, but you don't need to tell me constantly about it. I mean, Serena and me have gotten it on ten times more 'an you and Leela and in one day even.   
  
Fry: Sorry, Bender. I didn't know you felt that way.  
  
Bender: Bender? Feeling? No…Uh, just keep going on about all the great sex you and Leela are having.  
  
Fry: Well, it's only been three times…Okay, four counting this morning, but it's really…wow. And I think I know why it's that way.  
  
Bender: Why?  
  
Fry: Because we connect in more ways than one. It's like…like it's not just a physical thing, you know? We actually care about each other. I mean, it's never been like this with anyone else. Just her… (Pause) Bender?  
  
Bender: What?  
  
Fry: I think I'm in love with Leela.  
  
Bender: Big surprise. We all saw it comin'.  
  
Fry: I mean, really. Not just how it was with Michelle and Lizzie. I'm talking like forever in love with her.  
  
Bender: You know what that means, doncha?  
  
Fry: Yeah. It means I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with her.  
  
Bender: Uh, no. It means you're a complete sucker. Only complete losers fall in love permanently.  
  
Fry: True, but I don't think I mind being a loser. Not if I still have her.  
  
Bender: Fry, you sicken…yet inspire me.   
  
Fry: Huh?  
  
Bender: Do you think it's possible for a…a robot to fall in real love?  
  
Fry: I'd say it's a definite possibility. Why? You and Serena…  
  
Bender: I don't know. It's just that…everything she does is just so freakin' cute!  
  
Fry: Bender, I think we're a couple of losers in love.  
  
Bender: Oh gawd, no!  
  
(He starts crying. Fry pats him on the back.)  
  
Scene: Leela and Fry's apartment.  
  
(Leela is sprawled out on the couch with a pad and pen in her lap. The top of the page is titled "Birthday Presents". Underneath is listed Year Supply of Slurm, No more Frederick's of New New York, a 20th Century meal and sex slave for a day. She sits, deep in thought. And gets an idea! She begins to write it down, but the door begins to open. She stashes it under the couch. Fry comes in.)  
  
Leela: (nonchalantly) Oh, Fry, I thought you'd be home earlier.  
  
Fry: Yeah, sorry…I thought maybe I'd make dinner for us…  
  
(He walks up to her and kisses her.)  
  
Fry: And then, maybe we could have a little…pie.  
  
(Leela smirks.)  
  
Leela: What should I wear?  
  
Fry: Uh…how about that little red number. I want tonight to be special.  
  
Leela: You mean the red dress I bought at Mariposa? I didn't know you liked it.  
  
Fry: It looks good on you. Not that anything looks bad on you.  
  
Leela: Whatever you say.  
  
(She walks into the bedroom and shuts the door.)  
  
Fry: Yes! Somebody's gonna score tonight…  
  
(He waltzes into the kitchen whistling "You Sexy Thing"…)  
  
Scene: Outside the kitchen.  
  
(Leela is wearing a semi-short red satin dress. Fry is wearing a nice shirt and slacks. He's covering her eye and leading her into the kitchen.)  
  
Leela: Can I look yet?  
  
Fry: Just a second…Okay, now.  
  
(He uncovers her eye and takes her hand. The camera angle switches to show the table covered with a red tablecloth. The room is lit by a few candles and a single red rose sits in a vase.)  
  
Leela: Fry…I…I don't know what to say…  
  
Fry: Don't say anything. Just sit.  
  
(He leads her over to her chair, where she is seated. He then places a plate of spaghetti at each of their spots.)  
  
Leela: This is so sweet.  
  
(He takes her hand from across the table.)  
  
Fry: Leela, there's something I've always wanted to axe you, but every time-  
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
Fry: Let the machine get it.  
  
Leela: (getting up) What if it's important?  
  
(She runs to the phone. Fry sighs. Leela answers it. The Professor appears on the screen.)  
  
Professor: Leela, is Fry there?  
  
Leela: Yeah. Do you want me to get him?  
  
Professor: Just tell him to get down here. I need the two of you down here immediately.  
  
(He hangs up.)  
  
Fry: Well, that was weird.  
  
Leela: We better do what he says. C'mon.  
  
(She puts on her black jacket and drags a rather disappointed-looking Fry out the door.)  
  
Scene: The Professor's lab.  
  
(The Professor and Hermes are standing by the TODD. Fry and Leela are staring blankly at it. Leela takes her jacket off and puts it on the coat rack. Hermes' eyes boggle.)  
  
Hermes: For Jah's sake, woman, if we interrupt sumptin' at least put some decent clothes on before you get your ass over here.  
  
Leela: We were not-  
  
Professor: Shut up, friends! I've called the two of you here for one reason and one reason only…  
  
Fry: Which is?  
  
Professor: Oh yes…I seem to have misplaced my glasses.  
  
Fry: You're wearing them.  
  
Professor: (feels glasses) Oh my. So I am…  
  
Leela: (irritated) You called us all the way down here for that?  
  
Professor: Oh my, no. I called you down here to show that I've polished the Time Object Displacement Device. It's now capable of bringing back entire human beings!  
  
Leela: Couldn't it do that before?  
  
Professor: Not whole human beings. We ended up with half of Rachel Leigh Cook.  
  
Fry: Which half?  
  
Professor: The top.  
  
Fry: Rrowww…  
  
Leela: Fry!  
  
Fry: Right, right…sorry.  
  
Leela: So why exactly do you need us? And why is Hermes here?  
  
Professor: I've decided that to make Fry's life in the future more organized I'd bring back the only two people who made it miserable earlier…his parents!  
  
Hermes: And I'm here should de Professor cross over the line man was not meant to cross more than five feet.  
  
Fry: Cool! You're really gonna bring my folks to the future?  
  
Professor: Well, that was the idea…  
  
Leela: Are you sure this is such a good idea?  
  
Professor: Of course I'm not sure! What do you take me for? Some rational…scientist person? Now, we'll start the Time Object Displacement Device…  
  
(He sets the clock to 'April 13 2002'. Lightning strikes outside, bathing the room in electrifying light.)  
  
Professor: (cackling manically) Fry, the pig!  
  
(Fry picks up a pig and throws it into the TODD.)  
  
Cut to the Fry's house.  
  
(Yancy Sr. and Chandra are seated on the couch watching a twenty-first century 'classic'…)  
  
Rafe: Danny, you can't die. You know why? 'Cause you're gonna be a daddy. I wasn't supposed to tell you, but you're gonna be a daddy!  
  
Danny: No, Rafe. You are.  
  
(Chandra starts to cry.)  
  
Yancy Sr.: C'mon soldier! Die with dignity!  
  
Chandra: (tearfully) How can you be so insensitive?  
  
Yancy Sr.: Easy.  
  
(Chandra cries harder, gets up and runs off.)  
  
Yancy Sr.: Aw, c'mon, Chandra-  
  
(He follows her. A moment later, Yancy walks in.)  
  
Yancy: Alright. Kate Beckinsale…  
  
(Just then, he is zapped and replaced by the pig.)  
  
Cut to the Professor's lab.  
  
(Fry stands twiddling his thumbs in anxiety, Leela twirls her ponytail, the Professor is asleep and Hermes writes something down on his clipboard.)  
  
Hermes: One count of fallin' asleep in the middle of the experiment…oh ho ho…that'll be five grand…  
  
(Suddenly, the TODD opens and Yancy comes falling and screaming through. He is deposited on the floor.)  
  
Yancy: (rubbing his posterior) Ow…  
  
Fry: Oh my god! Yancy!  
  
Yancy: Philip!  
  
(He looks up and sees Leela.)  
  
Yancy: Phil, look out! There's a monster behind you…with really nice-  
  
Fry: Don't get too comfortable…she's with me.  
  
Yancy: You always could pick 'em, Phil.  
  
(They embrace. Leela smiles at Fry.)  
  
Fry: It's great to see you, but…  
  
Yancy: What?  
  
Fry: Mom and Dad were supposed to get sucked in, not you.  
  
Yancy: I'm confused.  
  
Fry: Good. We're on the same level. Now, let me introduce you to everyone. (Pointing at Leela) Now, this is my lovely live-in girlfriend, Leela.  
  
Leela: Nice to meet you, Yancy.  
  
(He shakes her hand.)  
  
Yancy: Same here. You keeping my little bro in line?  
  
Fry: You better believe it. For over a month after we started going out, she wouldn't-  
  
Leela: That's enough, Fry.  
  
Fry: Yes, captain. (Moving on the Professor) This is Professor Farnsworth. He's our great-times-thirty nephew.  
  
Yancy: Come again?  
  
Fry: It's the year 3003.  
  
Yancy: Ohh…  
  
Fry: And this is Hermes. He's the resident bearucrat at Planet Express. That's where me and Leela work. You can meet everyone else tomorrow. I think we have a lot to talk about tonight…  
  
Leela: But Fry, I thought we were gonna-  
  
Fry: Oh yeah. Uh…we'll go home and if you gimme an hour, then we'll talk.  
  
(Leela smacks her forehead.)  
  
Scene: Fry and Leela's apartment.  
  
(The door opens and the trio walks in.)  
  
Yancy: That's just like Star Trek!  
  
Fry: That's what I said when I first came here!  
  
(Leela just shakes her head and smiles. Fry makes eye contact with her.)  
  
Leela: (fakes yawn) Well, I'm bushed. I'm gonna go to bed. It was nice meeting you, Yancy…  
  
(She grins at Fry before going into the bedroom.)  
  
Fry: (rushed) Okay, Yancy, this is the remote. Twenty thousand channels. I'm sure Charlie's Angels is on one of them. Now, I gotta go. But I'll be back in an hour, k?  
  
Yancy: She that good that you gotta leave your older brother sitting here?  
  
Fry: You better believe it. Have you ever had popplers?  
  
Yancy: No.  
  
Fry: Oh. Well, I think we froze some from a couple years ago. Anyway, they're like the best things you could ever eat. And when I'm with her…it's like eating all the popplers in the world…  
  
(Leela comes out wearing her pink negligee.)  
  
Leela: Fry? You promised me- Uh, Yancy…hi.  
  
Fry: Yeah, just a sec, sweetie.  
  
(Leela sighs and goes back into the bedroom.)  
  
Scene: The next morning.  
  
(Leela yawns and opens her eye.)  
  
Fry: Hey, beautiful.  
  
Leela: (smiling) Y'know, I wanted dessert last night. But I guess it could carry over to this morning…  
  
(She kisses him.)  
  
Fry: As much as I want that, I don't think it's a good idea right now…  
  
Leela: Why's that?  
  
(As if on cue, Yancy pops up from the floor.)  
  
Yancy: Hey, there's eggs in the future, right?  
  
(If looks could kill, Fry would be buried.)  
  
Leela: (strict) What is he doing here?!  
  
Fry: Well, I didn't want you to be alone last night and I didn't want to stop talking to Yancy so…  
  
Leela: So you just assumed I wouldn't mind having your brother in here when you know I-  
  
Yancy: Is this a bad time?  
  
Leela: (exasperated) Yes. Yancy, go make coffee. Black. I need it strong.  
  
Yancy: (getting up) Okie dokie.  
  
Leela: Just tell it how many cups you want and the strength.  
  
(He leaves.)  
  
Fry: You're mad at me, aren't you?  
  
Leela: No, of course not- What do you think?!  
  
Fry: Uh…yes?  
  
Leela: Good guess.  
  
Fry: So are you mad because Yancy's here or that we didn't get to…  
  
Leela: I don't know. I guess I just thought last night was gonna be special…  
  
Fry: I know. Believe me, I wanted it to be too. But we can still make tonight special, okay?  
  
Leela: Well, okay.  
  
(Yancy comes in.)  
  
Yancy: Uh…should the coffee-maker be shooting out bad-smelling black goo?  
  
Scene: Planet Express.  
  
(Yancy, Fry and Leela walk in.)  
  
Amy: So that's Fry's brother…  
  
Fry: Yancy, this is Planet Express' intern, Amy Wong.  
  
Amy: (holding out her hand) Pleased to meet you.  
  
Yancy: (suave) The pleasure's all mine…  
  
Amy: Hey, don't flatter yourself. I'm taken.  
  
Fry: This is Bender, our cook.  
  
Bender: That's chef Bender to you! Naw, I'm just kidding. Any brother of Fry's is a friend of mine.  
  
Fry: And this is Serena, the…uh, maid.  
  
Yancy: Cool. There are robot maids in the future?  
  
Serena: Well, I was specifically designed to clean up whatever mess these organisms leave lying around.  
  
Yancy: Neat.  
  
Zoidberg: (bursting in) And I'm the rich doctor!  
  
Yancy: Really? Do you do plastic surgery 'cos I've been wondering about-  
  
Leela: (cutting him off quickly) Dr. Zoidberg's quite busy, you'd have to be on the wait list and you know how those can be.  
  
Hermes: Let's get down to business, people!  
  
(Everyone takes their seats at the table.)  
  
Hermes: Now, today you'll be makin' a delivery to Gripling 4.  
  
Leela: What are we delivering?  
  
Hermes: A box of blue blankets from a Mister Carl Foutley to Blake Gripling, ruler of the planet. Now, git going!  
  
Cut to right before the ship blasts off.  
  
Fry: (To Yancy) This is the best part- Okay, not as good as one on one after the delivery, if you get my drif-  
  
Leela: Fry!  
  
Yancy: Cool. Do you use a countdown?  
  
Fry: No. 'Cos it doesn't take very long to get there. Like once, I said the countdown and before I got to five, we were there.  
  
Yancy: Wow. That's fast.  
  
Leela: It'll take a while to get to Gripling 4 though. It's all the way over in the Geddes galaxy. Settle in for a six-hour ride, both ways. We'll be lucky to get back to earth by sundown.  
  
Cut to them touching down on Gripling 4.  
  
(Gripling 4 from the looks of it is a prim and proper planet of nicely cut grass, golden gates and huge mansions. The crew gets out of the ship.)  
  
Leela: Now, I have very specific orders for you all. Bender, you go into town and find something to cook for dinner. Zoidberg cleaned out the fridge.  
  
Zoidberg: (tearfully) I vas hungry…  
  
Leela: Serena, you'll be in charge of cleaning the ship. Make sure you spray some Febreeze or something in the Dark Matter Chamber.  
  
Serena: Understood, ma'am.  
  
Leela: Amy and I will make sure everything's working on the ship and then go mingle with the rich, stuffy people of the planet. Fry and Yancy, I want you to take Mr. Foutley's crate to Blake Gripling. And make sure you don't mess up. Robert Bishop will be there and I don't want any more bad impressions.  
  
Yancy: Who's Robert Bishop?  
  
Fry: Some really close friend of the Space Pope, I think.  
  
Yancy: Ah.  
  
Leela: I want everyone back here in two hours, got it?  
  
(A chorus of "okay", "got it" and "whatever" ensues.)  
  
Leela: See you all back here soon.  
  
(Everyone heads off in their own directions.)  
  
Cut to later.  
  
(Leela's standing in front of the ship, looking very peeved.)  
  
Leela: So how many mishaps did we run into today?  
  
Bender: None. I mugged three people.  
  
Zoidberg: I had to do the dishes after eating all the sushi in a sushi bar.  
  
Serena: Well, the Dark Matter Chamber rusted after I sprayed the cleaning stuff on it…  
  
Amy: I mingled with Courtney Gripling. THE Courtney Gripling!  
  
Fry: Uh, I spilled coffee on Robert Bishop.  
  
Yancy: Made Blake break into hives when I offered him a chocolate bar.  
  
Leela: Ugh…one day we will have a mission without screw-ups…  
  
Scene: Leela and Fry's quarters on the ship.  
  
(Leela is sprawled out on the bed while Fry is sitting by the window, gazing out.)  
  
Leela: Auto-pilot on, dinner over, sick bags in every room…I think everything's accounted for.  
  
Fry: Does that mean, we can…  
  
Leela: (seductively) Well, we do have at least an hour til we have to be back on earth…  
  
(She gives him a "sexy" look. He takes the hint. Within a moment, the two are kissing passionately. In the background, a small vortex opens and Yancy comes running out. Two feet away, another opens and he goes running through.)  
  
Leela: (breaking the kiss) What was that?  
  
Fry: Forget about it…  
  
(They go back to snogging. A minute later, we hear Yancy yell.)  
  
Yancy: Phil! Get in here!  
  
(Fry gets up and dashes out of the bedroom. Leela follows. They run into the bathroom, where the screams are coming from.)  
  
Fry: (entering) Yancy, I told you, autoeroticexfixation only happens in movie- Omigod!  
  
(The camera reveals Yancy standing in front of the mirror. He is slowly fading from the waist down…)  
  
~End of Part Three~  
  
Dun dun dun! Okay, I lied. Part Three's not the end. You'll have to read Part Four for the conclusion… 


End file.
